The Beginning

Before I begin, I want to make something clear. I didn't wake up one day and happily decide to become an active person. I dragged myself to the gym. I pushed myself. I continue to push myself. Since May 18, 2016, I haven't stopped going to the gym, with the exception of vacations. I push myself 5-6 days a week, and initially, I hated it. Getting out of bed in the morning and knowing that at some point during my day I would have to work out made my life a living hell. I'm serious, I fucking hated it. After 3 weeks I wondered why nothing was changing, but by 3 months, I was squatting close to 150 pounds. I could see muscle building in my legs. I took pictures every month and my back was staring to curve inward from deadlifts, pushing my stomach out. I was glad my back fat was going away, but my stomach was still there. Everything became a battle. 

It still is a battle. This is the most challenging situation I have ever actively put myself in. Some days, I'm so confident walking into the gym, and then I see a girl walk by with a flat stomach and a glorious backside, and I wonder why the hell I put all this work in if I'll never "look like that". But for some reason, I still go. Actually, I know why I still go, because I see a difference! I see muscle, I see certain areas of my body getting leaner. I listen to my body for food (which is all the time), I listen to my body when its had enough. I even hopped on a scale 3 months ago and realized I lost 50 pounds. But I don't really care about the scale, I just care that I'm at a point in my life where I made a routine out of something that completely changed my life. And I want to emphasize this, I have changed my life. No matter how hard I try, I couldn't put that into better words. 

I won't quit, even after I've reached my goals. I want to look into the mirror one day and say that I did something for my body, something good. And I know that I will- someday, maybe even sooner rather than later. So, I wanted to add this to my blog because, well, aside from every subject I talk about in here, I wanted to add a new subject that's a part of my life. If you want to leave comments on what I should talk about, feel free. If you just want to drop by, drop by. I'll be complaining, fighting, screaming, losing, failing, winning-- but never quitting.